Adolescent or childhood bullying involves intended hurtful behavior plus an imbalance of power between the victim and the browbeat that makes it hard for the victim to protect herself. Bullying is often repeated over time, but sometimes a single severe incident can qualify.
When we think of bullying, most of us imagine a big kid beating up a little kid. However, bullying can also involve threats, vicious teasing and name-calling, or constantly cast out someone. Both girls and boys can bully, although girls are more likely to do it in a nonphysical way.
It is sometimes hard to draw the line between average meanness and bullying. Not every shuffle or unkind remark constitutes bullying. All children get teased or taunted. At some point most children will have to deal the sting of being rejected or excluded from a group. Many children get involved in an infrequent angry shoving match or in wrestling play that gets out of hand. periodic incidents like these can be very upsetting for children and parents, but they don't have the devastating long-term for both the victim and the bully that bullying does.
Bullying is more than meanness; it's peer assault. Bullying involves a pattern of systematic, targeted intimidation and harassment. If the victim regularly feels frightened, threatened, or humiliated rather than occasionally mad or embarrassed, it is probably bullying. If the aggression is frequent, intense, or enduring, it is bullying.
It's alluring to blame bullying completely on the aggressive child. Cruel behavior certainly shouldn't be excused or put up with . But research observations of pairs of children playing games show that both vulnerable and intimidating children contribute encourage | promote to the pattern of bullying. These children bring out the worst in each other. When bullies and victims are paired, they each play their classic dominating and submissive roles. Bullies act bossy and reject victims' suggestions, while victims passively abide with bullies' orders. However, when bullies and victims are paired with other children, they behave in less stereotypical ways. Bullies are less likely to oppose their partners' ideas, and victims are more likely to assertively ask for help or explanations.
As parents, seeing a blow to our child impact at our heart. Sometimes it brings out the mother lioness in us, and we feel a fierce desire to guard our child against the “mean kid.” Sometimes it keeps us up at night, worrying about how our child is enduring. Sometimes our child gets over the hurt swifter than we do. Most kids are resilient enough to handle occasional incidents that make them feel embarrassed or upset, but being regularly threatened and humiliated can leave lifelong scars. So, although we don't want to overreact to every little slight our child receives, we must not reduce the pain of being bullied.
If bullying becomes a problem in your family life, don't hesitate to seek the counsel of a therapist / psychologist in order to obtain behavior modification tools to deal with the problem.
