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You've heard the saying; you can't know someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. This is a technique on how to gain rapport by jumping into another person, stepping in, sliding in, moving in, being in that person, figuratively walking a mile in their shoes. Harper Lee wrote in To Kill a Mockingbird, "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." We are going to learn to climb into the skin of our prospects, experience them, their affluence, their decision making mechanisms, their emotional states-so that we can better give them what they need and get what we need. Our other than conscious minds are goal seekers. We have a strong pull toward pattern recognition. We can immediately pick up characteristics of others so that when we step inside them, our unconscious has already formulated what we will experience. How are we going to do this? The way I do it is I just look at you and jump in. I imagine in my mind that I am now you looking at me. It's that simple. When I look at you, my unconscious, knowing that I'm going to step inside you, can very quickly build a pattern of who and what you are, such that when I step inside you, it already has constructed what's going to happen. Once I'm inside you, I'm modeling you, or mirroring you so completely and so powerfully that the results can be startling both for you and for the person that this is being done with. Is it real? I don't know. I don't really care. It's a mental construct. I am making it up in my mind. I'm making up that I'm now in your body looking through your eyes. I've never seen a faster way of gaining rapport than this exercise. If we're specifically working with an affluent clientle, this is phenomenally powerful especially if we're not as wealthy as we want to be. If we assume that there is a finite number of patterns that exist, and if we chunk up a little bit, go to a bigger level, we can say, for example, there are twelve astrological signs. There are seven major personality types, depending on the system that you're working with. There are all sorts of different classification systems that will seek to limit the number of possible combinations. Building these images is a construct. We might not always be accurate in our assessments, but if we are in front of our prospect, and we're hearing them and talking with them, seeing them move, keeping them in our sites, then we can instantly change our constructs moment by moment. The construct gets more complete and more powerful as we lock onto the personality of our prospect. As you step into your client, leave yourself behind. See through their eyes. This allows you to move along the process of rapport on a very deep level. You are so completely identifying with their behaviors and all of who they are. You can make this more powerful in a couple of ways. First, marvel at what it feels like and what their clothes feel like. If the person is of the opposite sex, you might feel what it feels like to be a woman or a man, whatever the case may be, and actually take on those characteristics. What are their physical characteristics? How does it feel to have those characteristics? Notice when you step into the other person, where you feel the connection to them. Do you feel the connection in your stomach, in your feet, in your hands, in your chest, in your head? Where do you feel the connection? By asking yourself these questions you'll deepen the rapport. Keep this in mind before you do this: if the person is physically sick, mentally ill, or if you have the intuition that they might not be a savory character, do not jump into them. This can be hard to shake off and may stick with you in an unpleasant way. This is a powerful exercise and even if you're not tremendously in touch with "energy", you can still use this to your advantage in persuasion.
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About the Article Author
Kenrick Cleveland teaches strategies to earn the business of affluent prospects using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion strategies.
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