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Everything has a beginning. A starting point. And when we have clarity and intention when we start something, it sets the way for what we can expect. When you sit down to start a presentation or begin to talk with a new client or prospect, how do you start? What are the frames you set? Mutual cooperation? 'I'm right, you're wrong'? 'You need me to satisfy this need'? These are all intentions, beginnings, frames. Take just a moment and identify the frame that you're starting with. Not the frame you think you should be starting but what you have been starting with? Here are two frames from students of mine. "I'm here to help you get what you want." And, "I want to find out what you need.' And here's some insight into these two frames: When you say, 'I'm here to help you get what you want', you are inserting yourself into the picture. You are the 'I'. Getting what they want includes you. When you say, 'I want to find out what you need', you are finding out information, not performing an action and you are not in the frame. You also must insert yourself into the buyer's mind such that you are an intricate part of the answer. You have to take action. Setting the frame from the start is the best way to take action. The frame of 'I'm going to help you get what you want' is an excellent way to start any interaction. You might come up against this situation: maybe what this prospect wants is *not* to do business with you because you are not a good fit. That's great. I consistently help people to not do business with me. It's a waste of their time, it's a waste of your time. The absolute best thing to do is to say goodbye and part on friendly terms. No problem. If you don't insert yourself strategically into the frame to begin with, however, then you are running the risk of larger problems. It's possible you will not be seen as a person of action with whom they will want to work. We're dealing with subtleties here but the subtleties count in a huge way. Remember, the person who sets the frame is going to win. You have to really consider what the frame is that you're attempting to set, and that it is in your mind when you enter into the situation that you're entering into. If you leave yourself out of the frame, your prospect will know this. The may simply thank you for the information you've given them and then leave. There's nothing manipulative in my opinion about inserting yourself into the frame. After all, they came to see you, or you came to see them and they let you in. It would be manipulative if you tried to give them something they didn't need or want. As the saying goes, 'You never get a second chance to make a first impression.' I'd go even further and say, 'You never get a second chance to powerfully, persuasively, positively set that first frame with yourself as the solution to your prospect's needs and wants.' As you begin, let this be your intention.
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About the Article Author
Kenrick Cleveland teaches techniques to earn the business of affluent prospects using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion techniques.
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